Tools to work on social skills

Interpersonal communication is essential in everyday life. However, there are people for whom it can be difficult to relate to others. This resource offers some dynamics and tools that can be useful to help people improve their social skills .

These tools will be useful both for organizations that operate with  volunteers , because it is important that the people who make up the latter have good social skills in order to offer the best possible care, but also for organizations that work with children , who can use them to help them develop these skills at an early age.  

Emotional education: Knowing your own emotions

Knowing oneself, understanding one's own emotions , is essential for assertive and effective communication. This dynamic will be useful for discovering the different types of emotions, more or less deep, and recognizing the messages that the body sends when these emotions are felt.

To carry out this dynamic, the facilitator must group the participants into groups of a maximum of 8 members. Each group will receive a sheet describing a situation and, among all the members, they must decide and write down which emotion is represented in it. Thus, the facilitator must prepare the sheets in advance, taking into account the type of activity or area of ​​action of the volunteers, as well as the climate of the group and the need to manage the emotions of these people.

Afterwards, each group explains its answer to the rest. Once everyone has explained theirs, the facilitator presents the list with the primary emotions (pain, fear, irritation, fury, shame, jealousy, joy, solidarity, etc.) of each of the distributed cards. Now, the different groups must self-assess their answer . At this point, the facilitator must promote general reflection  on emotions, encouraging acceptance and respect for different opinions on the subject, clarifying which are the basic emotions that can appear in the volunteer work they carry out and indicating how these can be expressed without hurting other people.

Some of the situations that can be described in the cards are: "your progress is recognized", "a person underestimates your contribution", "a person leaves the group you belong to", "you win a prize", "a person very close to you is not having a good time", "you have reunited with a very dear person you haven't seen in a long time", "you have to give up an activity that you really like because you have an obligation", "you are fired from your job", "they give you a nickname that you don't like", "they exclude you from the group you belong to", "you propose to do a new activity", "you achieve the goal you set for yourself", "you need to explain your feelings to someone and no one listens to you", "you find yourself in a dangerous situation", "they say something nice to you"...

Dialogue: Let's talk about it

This dynamic allows us to work on expression , communication and dialogue , as well as enhance empathy between the people in the group.

To start the activity, the facilitator will briefly present a controversial current issue . This may or may not be related to the work/group where the volunteering is carried out or the activity that is carried out with children. The group will then be surveyed to see what their position is on this issue. Based on the opinions, the people will be divided  into two groups.

Subsequently, each group will have to prepare a presentation of about 10 or 15 minutes in which they defend a position opposite to theirs . Once prepared, it is presented to the rest in order to continue the debate, offering the opportunity to ask questions about those aspects that are not clear or are argued in a weaker way. The idea is to be able to carry out two rounds of questions and answers .

Finally, the facilitator will ask everyone how they felt defending a position different from their own, if any previous conceptions have changed, if they still continue to firmly maintain the initial position, if there are only two positions...

Conflict resolution: two opinions

This dynamic is dedicated to working and educating on conflict resolution . The activity will seek to make known the different parties involved in a conflict and their interactions to establish a starting point from which to seek methods to channel it and avoid violence. It will start from the basis that the conflict has its origin in conflicting interests, and that it is not a question of demonizing it, because in the world a multitude of conflicts begin every day. Thus, the dynamic will seek to promote reflection on the peaceful resolution of these conflicts.

To do this, the volunteers, divided into two groups, will have to start by developing and defending a proposal for the programming of activities to be carried out during the year, taking into account the holiday calendar of the territory. One of the people will not be part of any group, but will act as an observer of the process.

For half an hour, the two groups will meet separately and develop their proposal, discussing it and thinking about what arguments they will use to defend it. Afterwards, they will have to present it to the other group. In this presentation, the facilitator must question the proposals presented to the point that both groups are so motivated to defend their convictions that they cannot listen to the ideas proposed by the other group. This is the beginning of the conflict between both parties, with opposing interests and without being able to listen to each other.

At this point, the observer , who has followed the process carefully from a neutral position, must assume the role of mediator in order to help the two parties reach an agreement. To do this, they must help break the lack of communication and make it possible for them to start a dialogue. Thus, the mediator must have trust in both parties and must have the ability to look for common ground, starting with the simplest aspects and reaching mutual concessions. This is a complex process, but the consensus will be firm and stable, since it will be built on a global agreement.

Working on cohesion: I have a present for you

This dynamic will allow us to work on group cohesion and trust , as well as foster self-esteem and a sense of belonging.  We will try to learn the concepts of "giving" and "receiving" and all the interactions that arise from them, while promoting reflection and acceptance of other people.

The facilitator will begin by explaining to the volunteers that anyone who wants to give a symbolic gift to another person (an idea, a wish, a caress, etc.) can do so by writing it on one of the cards given to them or by gesture. Once everyone has prepared their gift, they form a circle and, one by one, they must give their gift to the chosen person . The person who receives the card reads it out loud and reflects on what it says, without making any further comments. If the gift is a caress, they do not have to say or do anything.

Subsequently, the facilitator will have them analyze their experiences by asking questions such as: "How did you feel?", "What did you notice?", "How do you value this gift?", "What use do you plan to give it?"...

Cooperation: Earthquake Island

This dynamic seeks to address  cooperation and solidarity both at the group level and in society in general. Carrying it out will allow for the promotion of cooperative and supportive attitudes and reflection through practice on teamwork.

This activity is a bit more physical than the others. The facilitator will draw a circle on the ground and ask the whole group to get inside it and move freely. The premise is that they are on an island from which no one can leave . The activity will consist of telling a story during which there will be constant earthquakes on the island. With each earthquake, the circle will become smaller , and the people inside will have to cooperate, talk, dialogue, calculate together, so that no one is left outside the island.

Plurality and team: Collaborative drawings

This activity is of a plastic type, and will help participants experience in their own skin the fruit of facing certain issues from the great multiplicity of perspectives that usually coexist in a single group.

The activity can be carried out by the whole group in a single round, but if there are many participants it may be interesting to divide them into groups of up to six or seven people. They will have to stand in a line, and they will have a sheet of paper in front of them. To start the activity, the facilitator will have to say a theme , which can be more or less complex depending on the ages of the participants ("city", "train", "zoo", "friendship", "school"...). Once the theme has been established, the first person in the line will begin to draw a drawing about the concept . After about 10 or 15 seconds, the person drawing will have to hand the pencil to the next person, who will continue the drawing. This will continue until everyone has participated .

The result will be a drawing that will be the result of collaboration between different visions of the same thing.